Sometimes I can actually feel myself begin to imagine something that I really don’t want to, and I enter into an epic struggle to distract my brain by creating ever more detailed, intricate, absurd scenarios – a unicorn whose horn unravels into helicopter blades, a beach where every grain of sand is a tiny yelling face, a flesh Voltron made out of the cast of Predator — before the visuals of what I’m trying NOT to imagine kick in and scar me for life. That’s how I felt after reading ‘woman that looks like Ted Cruz agrees to do porn.’ My defense mechanisms didn’t work. Anyway, that’s why I’m committing suicide. Not your fault, so much love, no more pain, don’t touch my stuff, yadda yadda yadda.
I rewatched Aliens, and I have some thoughts: First and foremost, it’s remarkable how solid of a film it is. There’s such an effective economy of storytelling, and such memorable characters that get so little screentime. That’s a tough writing trick to pull off. It’s also surprising to me just how well practical effects of the ’80s hold up — from Blade Runner to Aliens to The Thing — while all CGI, even from just a few years ago, seems to age horribly. And finally, perhaps most importantly: When the movie first came out I knew a kid that told me he thought the queen alien’s egg tube was “hot” and he “couldn’t stop thinking about putting his dick in it.” I hadn’t even gone through puberty at the time, so I didn’t have much of a reply for him. But I assumed that was normal. Well, Warren, I’ve had some time to reflect on it, and I feel I can definitively say “that was not normal” and “I disagree.”
Long story long: It’s not strictly necessary to read 14 first. It is a stand alone book. But it just functions much better as a sequel. I heard that from everybody, and everybody was right. I stopped reading The Fold to pick up 14, and that’s the way to do it. Just be aware that 14 is more of a slow burn, while the Fold is tight and focused. 14 is a TV show, while The Fold is a movie.
And now you’ve read like 100 words of this garbage when you could be reading 100 words of the actual books. You’re wasting time. Go buy them, if only so he has the financial incentive to write more books in that universe. I’m a selfish, selfish man.
Your last reminder: I’m going to be at WonderCon, tomorrow 3/26. Here are the details:
2:00-3:00PM It’s a Horrible Life (or UnLife) Room 151
What is it about grim and gritty, dark and dystopian, that readers crave? And how can humor exist in the midst thereof? Tap into the noir side of existence with R.S. Belcher (The Six-Gun Tarot, The Brotherhood of the Wheel, TOR), Robert Brockway (The Unnoticeables), Stephen Blackmoore (“Heroes Reborn: Dirty Deeds”), Scott Sigler (Generations Trilogy), Amber Benson (The Echo Park Coven novels), and David Mariotte of Mysterious Galaxy.
3:15-4:00PM Signing Autograph Booth #3000
With Robert Brockway (The Unnoticeables), R.S. Belcher (The Six-Gun Tarot, The Brotherhood of the Wheel), Stephen Blackmoore (“Heroes Reborn: Dirty Deeds”), Scott Sigler (Generations Trilogy),Amber Benson (The Echo Park Coven novels), and Heather Nuhfer (Weirdest)
Come hang out! Get something signed! Make ill-advised bets and then welch on them, knowing my memory is worse than yours!
I’m moving a lot of my online presence to a mailing list. It’s old-school, I know, but it’s a much neater solution. If you want to know about contests, free content, sales and new books – sign up! Then you’re guaranteed to never miss a thing, rather than just sitting back and hoping my inane jokes wade through the quagmire of your Twitter feed or fight their way through your cold and unforgiving Facebook algorithms.
Audible’s crazy Daily Deal on The Unnoticeables just made it the #10 book in all Literature and Fiction, #4 book in all of Science Fiction and Fantasy. #2 in just Fantasy and #2 in Horror! It is, for right now, the 10th best selling novel (out of all the novels ever written, mind you) in the largest bookstore in the world.
If I crack the top 100 of all books, I will poop everywhere. That’s not an incentive or anything. That’s just an unfortunate, but understandable reaction.
Wow uh… there’s definitely a bit of a bump from being Audible’s Daily Deal.
The Unnoticeables is Audible’s Daily Deal! It’s only 2.95 for the audio book. And look, I know I’m biased, but it’s genuinely amazing. 3 narrators, one for each POV, and they all kill it in their own ways. Even if you’ve read the book, at this price, it’s worth throwing a few bucks in for the different experience. Very cool.
Only a handful of people asked, because only a handful of people were reading it, but I figured I’d put this out there anyway:
I’ve pulled all of the Day of Knowing stories and will not be releasing any more.
The first story net a few hundred views (not readers, views). The second didn’t break a hundred. The third and fourth combined had less than twenty views (again, views, not readers).
The interest just wasn’t there to sustain this. I hope this doesn’t come as a nasty surprise to anybody. The plea at the end of the stories to share and review as much as possible if you wanted to see more wasn’t just a plea; it was also a warning. If it stops being worth it to write these, I can’t afford to continue them as pure vanity.
I don’t say this to blame anybody – odds are if you’ve read this far into the post, you were one of the few people who were into the story. You were not the problem. The readers who weren’t there were the problem, and that wasn’t you! You’re awesome, and you have my sincere thanks.
I just have a limited amount of time left in uh…life.. to write. I have to spend it on things that will get read. That said, I may do something with the stories in the future if I think I can find an audience or use for them. Please feel free to message rxthebook at gmail dot com if you would like to be added to a list with further updates on the collection. Thanks!
I’m doing an Ask Me Anything over on Reddit Fantasy today. Come on by and see if you can stump me.